What parents and carers said they most wanted for their children:
‘My greatest hope is that they grow up as self-aware, self-accepting, kind, compassionate, happy people.’
‘I want them to be surrounded by kindness and to be kind – to be empowered and believe in themselves and to know they matter and to respect others.’
‘I want to enable them to do whatever they want and to achieve their potential.’
‘I don’t think there is anything better than empowered, confident children. Forget about A’ Levels and GCSEs, it’s about self-belief. If you are genuinely happy in and with yourself, you will go far.’
‘I just want them to be happy and not worry too much. To be happy, I think you have to have confidence in yourself.’
‘I want them to be inquisitive and explore, and not feel held back. Confidence is a big thing and lets you feel like you know you can do things and makes you just go for it.’
But there’s a common challenge:
Despite these heartfelt hopes, parents and carers told us—unanimously—that they often feel frustrated that they don’t know how to help their children become the confident, self-accepting, kind individuals they want them to be.
We’re not handed a parenting manual when children arrive in our lives. And, let’s be honest, sometimes we’re the last people our children want to take advice from. We’re often too close, too emotionally involved. And sometimes, we’re still navigating our own challenges and healing, which makes it harder to guide them.
The Reality: Children Learn Most by Watching Us
Just like we absorbed messages from our parents and carers, our children are constantly learning by watching us. They’re interpreting life, relationships, conflict, success and failure based on what they see modeled around them.
We believe the role of a parent or carer is to pass on at least one thing that’s more empowering and positive than the model we were given. There’ll never be a ‘perfect’ parent because none us knows what that looks like.
What We Can Do
However much we might want to or however hard we try, we can’t give our children good self-esteem. We can’t talk them into self-acceptance, especially when they feel they’ve failed or made a mistake.
We can give them the opportunity to grow a strong foundation of thinking and behaviour that is going to carry them through life’s ups and downs and the challenges, setbacks and difficulties they will all face at some point in their lives.
We can teach them that they are not flawed. And neither are we.
We are all shaped by the adaptations we’ve had to make to ensure our wellbeing, security and survival, and to find our place in the world. These adaptations aren’t evidence of brokenness—they’re evidence of just how capable we are.
What do young people need?
When we help children and young people understand this – when we teach them to accept, embrace, and value themselves – we give them something powerful:
The gift of self-leadership.
With that foundation, they’ll be better equipped to navigate relationships, conflicts, setbacks, and successes. And they’ll have the confidence to follow their strengths and interests wherever they take them in life.
How can we help…
At Life Lessons Mentoring, we offer young people the support and guidance to help them learn what feels right for them and to take ownership of who they are so that they can get on with living and leading a life of their choice.
If you want to know more, contact us for an informal chat. If you already know this is a great fit for the young person in your life, contact us to book sessions.
Contact details
📞 Mobile: 07751 497640
📧 Email: zoedennis@mac.com
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